So far, we’ve covered Choosing Love, Where is Love?, What is Love? — and even taken a crack at the Meaning of Life. Then last week, I threw in a bonus episode about my dad’s heart-centered practices.
Today’s episode is brief, concluding the introduction to the book. In it, we’ll talk about the healing power of Love.
How many of us have tried to change something about ourselves that we loathe, or at the very least, dislike a lot? Days turn into weeks turn into years turn into decades. We try everything: quick fixes; long-term solutions; we go it alone; we find support groups. Yet sooner or later, we find ourselves back where we have started—a little wiser or a little more road-weary, but still praying/wishing/pleading for something to shift and change, hoping we finally will heal.
That was me. I had breakthroughs and breakdowns. I had lightbulb moments and periods of immense gratitude often followed by deep despair. Yet it seemed as though I always ended up cycling back and through the same old same old over and over again . . . until I discovered the power of practice and realized that healing does not come when we change a habit or a behavior.
We think: if I stop overeating, I will lose weight. If I stop overspending, I will get out of debt. If I stop working so hard, I will feel less stress.
It may work for a while, but it rarely lasts. This is because the kind of deep healing we all really seek cannot happen by changing a habit. In fact, it is the opposite.
*Healing does not come from change. Change comes through healing.*
Let me say that again because it is the crux of everything I have learned. Real, transformational, fundamental healing does not come from changing a habit or a behavior. We cannot heal from the outside in. We have to heal from the inside out. I learned this through my daily practice of joy.
*My life changed because Love healed it.*
You see, sometimes the answer we need is the answer we have known our whole lives.
As I said a few episodes ago — when I was a little girl, I knew that Love heals. I knew it because I experienced it. Then, little by little, as I grew up and wanted all the things I thought I should want — from things my friends talked about or to what I saw on TV — I forgot how to feel the Love that had always been inside me, because I was too focused on wanting things outside of me. Success, relationships, stuff.
But each time I got something then lost it — or worse, got something and then it didn’t satisfy the itch I was trying so hard to scratch — I felt worse. And the worse I felt, the more afraid I got that I was unlovable, that I would never feel good about myself, or anything in my life.
At some point, I stopped being able to feel the Love inside me because I had barnacled it over with fear until I could barely remember its presence. But once my joy practice reconnected me with that Love, I wanted to feel it in every area of my life. So I began trying out other heart-centered practices.
The same thing happened! Old fears melted away. Ancient stories lost their grip on me. I felt hope and experienced healing as never before! Why? Because all my practices had one thing in common: *they were heart-centered practices that caused me to live as if I were living in, as, from, and through Love.* The way I had when I was a very little girl. The way I had when I knew that Love healed.
I discovered the power of living as if Love runs the show (which, of course, Love does!). When I began living Love, Love transformed my life.
Since then, I have witnessed, in awe and wonder, gratitude and joy, the transformation that choosing to practice Love every day can bring. And not just in my life, but in the lives of others. This is why I have dedicated myself to becoming a Love practitioner, creating, deepening, expanding, and sharing heart-centered practices.
But being a practitioner means you have to practice. And when you slack off on that practice, it tends to bite you in the butt.
A few weeks ago, my wonderful neighbor and friend Lara told me how much she enjoys listening to my podcast.
What did I, this practitioner of living Love, do when she said that?
First, I rolled my eyes.
Next, I said, “Ugh!”
Finally, I scoffed off her kind words by saying, “I do it because I have to do it. I have to keep showing up.”
Why couldn’t I just say thank you? Why couldn’t I accept her compliment and feel happy that someone was enjoying this podcast?
I’ve thought about that a lot in the past few weeks.
I began this podcast because I felt like I hadn’t shown up to the daily practice of joy of birthing this book into the world during the first month of lockdown back in 2020. Five years later, I promised I would show up through this podcast.
But each week, I grumble about having to record it.
Then, when I turn on the recorder and hear my voice reminding myself about the importance of living Love and heart-centered joy-filled practice, I think, “Oh, I really believe this. I’m glad I’m sharing it.”
But all too soon, that fades, and I’m back to self-deprecation and eventually irritation that I have to record the next one.
That’s why my response to Lara’s kindness kicked me in the butt.
It made me realize that it wasn’t the impetus of having missed the heart-centered practice of birthing a book that made this podcast necessary. It’s about my heart-centered practice NOW. How’s that going if I resent having to record a podcast about living Love??
There’s a poem I love called The Flowering of the Rod by HD (the pen name of Hilda Doolitle). Here’s the part of the poem that I think of almost daily:
I go where I love and where I am loved, into the snow;
I go to the things I love with no thought of duty or pity;
I go where I belong, inexorably,
My brother shared this poem with me decades ago. He said it taught him that love is not love if it is done with duty, obligation, or pity.
Immediately, it became both my mantra and a way of checking in on myself, my thoughts, and my actions.
Time to use that mantra now: Am I living Love with this podcast if I am feeling duty, obligation, and pity? Not so much!
So, as we reach the end of the introductory chapter of my book, I need to make a promise to you. Moving forward, I promise to practice joy in making this podcast — and give myself a good talking to — a little tough love — if I feel anything resembling duty, obligation, or pity. Because sometimes tough Love is required to get the most out of heart-centered practice.
You can’t practice if you don’t show up. And I mean show up with your whole being. Because when you do that, it’s a beautifully intuitive process — one that takes an open heart, a desire for transformation, and a willingness to show up and practice Love. When we do, every single one of us will remember and demonstrate what we have always known in our hearts: In and as our truest selves, we are all living Love.
So, this is what my book and this podcast are about — taking the focus off the problems, the issues, the fears, and recommitting to a heart-centered life of living Love.
How? I hope this episode has given you a few clues. Next, it’s time to start diving into practice. So stay tuned!
Now for a little housekeeping. . .
As I mentioned at the beginning of this podcast, I’m not a podcast person. But I’ve learned that podcasts have seasons. So, I’m going to call this episode the end of Season One.
I mentioned that I would be fitting the writing and recording of this podcast around my busy travel schedule.
Please subscribe to this podcast on your favorite platform and stay tuned for Season Two. It’s called Out with the Old and In with the New, a deep dive into practice — what it is, what it does, and how to create it.
Then, after that, each practice in the book — there are 12 of them — will roll out as a season. There will also be a few bonus practices at the end.
My goal is to finish this podcast in a year. . . but who knows? Because — spoiler alert — one of my favorite heart-centered practices is Not Knowing!
Thank you all — especially Lara — for listening and being part of my heart-centered practice. I am grateful for each and everyone one of you. See you next season!